I’ve had a fairly recent revelation – I care way too much. I worry all the time. And I especially fret over what other people think. Without even realizing it, I have developed a conscious need to be liked and loved by complete strangers.
I wring my hands over whether or not someone likes my photo on Instagram. I wait in timid anticipation for someone, anyone to like one of my blog post or even just view it. Hey, even if you just accidentally click on my blog and then click away, it still counts as a view!! There is no 5 second rule. Lately I have been checking Instagram, my very recent Twitter account, Facebook, and WordPress in a weirdly obsessive manner – at least ten times a day. Has anyone looked at my blog in the past 5 minutes?!? It’s just sad. And completely unproductive.
I’m not sure what’s been going on lately. I’ve been in a state of restlessness…not only while trying to go to sleep (I’ve had to sleep opposite my hubs for the past week) but just in my life in general. I feel like I’m kinda lost…sailing in the sea without the slightest idea where I’m going. I feel purposeless. Frankly, hoping desperately to have my blog turn into some popular go-to site is completely unrealistic. And checking all of these social media outlets which ironically doesn’t help me really communicate with anyone at all is, again, just sad.
It really is pathetic. At least I’m aware of it now. Because of this, I have decided to go on a “social media” hiatus indefinitely. I know all 10 readers of my blog will be supremely disappointed while my Facebook “friends” will now be overjoyed by a lack of constant Rachel updates. I do realize that the initial reason for starting this blog was to update my family while we are living abroad…so…feel free to email me for updates!