Leave the Animatronic Penguins Alone

The Christmas Season is almost here…(for those living in the Czech Republic/Europe it is already here) and with the arrival of the season comes the animatronic flapping penguins and waving Santas. Evergreens and twinkle lights. Hot cocoa and gingerbread cookies. Holiday sales and Christmas decorations. Those who play Christmas music before Thanksgiving and those who stick their fingers in their ears and sing La-La-La’s until it stops.

For years I have heard people complain about the Christmas Season coming too early. And to those people who crush my spirit I say, “Quit harshing on the vibe.” When someone whines about Christmas coming too early or staying too long (which is just crazy) I feel very much like Jess when she was defending her very being (New Girl; Season 1, Episode 11) and she said, “I brake for birds. I rock a lot of polka dots. I have touched glitter in the last 24 hours. I spend my entire day talking to children. And I find it fundamentally strange that you’re not a dessert person. That’s just weird, and it freaks me out.”
I find it fundamentally weird that some people don’t want Christmas early. I am genuinely freaked out by people who complain about Christmas. Christmas is amazing and when people harsh on the Christmas vibe, I get more uncomfortable than when someone asks me about politics or my menstruation cycle. Not wanting Christmas to come early is like someone offering free hot cocoa with fresh cinnamon sticks and then just saying, “No, thanks. I don’t really want my spirits to be uplifted by a delicious hot cup of chocolaty goodness.” There is something wrong here.

Christmas is a time of forgiveness and joy. You accidentally back your car into someone else’s car in the parking lot of a shopping mall and instead of screaming at you for your incompetence and insurance information, they simply say, “Don’t worry about it. It’s Christmas!” You accidentally spill a scalding hot cocoa on someone and they simply smile apologetically – like they did something wrong. A cashier doesn’t give you the right change so you inform them and instead of rolling their eyes and scoffing, they apologize and correct their wrong. Everyone tips so generously at Christmas. Because “It’s Christmas!” That phrase (“It’s Christmas”) is a giant get of jail free card. You can do no wrong at Christmastime – not like you would want to (unless you are Buford from Phineas & Ferb).

Disregarding my obvious obsession and craving for hot cocoa, Christmas is a time when people are strangely happy. Normal people don’t smile all the time – and not a regular smile…like the Joker from Batman smile. It is creepy in a Christmas spirit kind of way. Children behave because adults hold the imaginary Santa figure and the promise of coal over their heads.  Every person on the planet has an excuse to break from every diet and indulge in the wonders of warm melt in your mouth Christmas cookies because New Year’s Resolutions don’t kick in for another 3 weeks. In fact, if someone doesn’t break their diet, they are normally encouraged to by friends and family (There’s that phrase again, “Go ahead. It’s Christmas”) There is a perpetual smell of cinnamon, evergreens, and mothballs.

Why would you want to limit this time of joy to only a month? There is a magical feeling that comes with Christmas and I for one want to hold onto that as long as I can. And to everyone else who wants to crush that feeling for people like me, please leave the animatronic penguins alone, drink some hot cocoa, and keep your animosity to yourself.

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