All Points Bulletin

Remember my last post about Henrietta? And how I said that no one believed me about her ability to climb up on that log in the aquarium? BOOYAH!! Evidence. An all-points bulletin went out this morning (company-wide email)…here is the exact email pasted for your edification:

And then I showed them pictures of Henrietta. On the log. I received several emails from people saying Rock on! You go, girl! Nice! I wasn’t sure who that second one was addressed to or why getting on a log was such a feat but nonetheless, I showed them proof….and foolishly hoped that would end people’s ridiculousness. Oh, how I was wrong.

Soon after the mass email was sent, several people came up who did not even know of Henrietta’s existence. I have this theory that Henrietta has the ability to hypnotize people. That when they stand in front of that aquarium with Henrietta swimming towards them as fast as she can (yes, swimming into the glass), she mesmerizes them into a “Cone of Silence”. They’ll ask questions but ignore you when you respond. And they usually just stare at her. So, there were three of them, bent over a bit and making eye contact with the turtle, their foreheads a couple inches from the glass. It’s just weird.

And then an hour or two later, someone comes to my desk and walks to the front door facing away from me, staring outside. This actually happens a lot. People will talk to me while they are staring through the glass doors. Apparently, cars whizzing by at 45 miles an hour is just as mesmerizing as Henrietta. And he says So did you push her off the log? And I’m thinking – What are you insane? And I said Yes, that’s exactly what I did. And there also just happened to be a giant truck parked outside our front doors with two telephone polls strapped to a flatbed of sorts and he asked Where did those come from? Why does everyone think I know everything? I mean, I’m flattered that you think I know everything but, really? So I said I became a lumberjack over the weekend. Figured I would show off my skills by bringing two giant telephone polls into work with me. That’s usually when people will laugh and then walk away. And he did.

So now you have proof that Henrietta was indeed on top of and in the log. Also, that she has a very long neck.


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